Long day…

Today was not a good writing day.  I produced nothing.

I made some notes.  I made more notes, etched out the scenes that won’t turn or shift as I’d like them, but…still, I produced nothing.

Moving forward.  I tell myself things like, “If so-and-so can write a first draft in a weeks time, then certainly I can accomplish a rewrite in that time.”  And I think, “if a gun was put to my head, and the threat was ‘finish it or die’ — would I?”

Well?  Would I?

Sighing.  This is not what is bothering me.  It’s other stuff.  More childish stuff.  Unrequited love stuff from a long ago past that even then was strictly within the confines of my imagination and not at all a real possibility.  Ridiculous to admit, but I’m still pining over what can never be, what would never be, what could never have happened — not ever.

So dumb.

But since I can’t shake it, I think I want to write a story about it.  I’d like to start on it now, but — I have to finish this rewrite first.  And I want to do it well, not half-assed.

The day is not over.  I must finish this script.

To the left, she reaches for her glass of cheap wine atop of the old filing cabinet serving as a side table.  She clicks on “publish” and closes the site.  All that remains is her open file of a story.  She stares blankly at the tangled mess of a so-called script.   She thinks to herself, “who the fuck cares?  Then answers herself, “No one.  Not one fuck.”  Yet another self-absorbed blogger with nothing of interest to disclose, teach or advise.

Now. Get back to it.


About Fringe Details

I write spec screenplays. Mum of five awesome people and caretaker of 6 chickens, five cats and one smelly dog. View all posts by Fringe Details

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