I am not quite sure why it took me so long to understand this, but I think I finally understand what confidence is and why it’s important.

Don’t laugh.  Seriously.  I admit that I’ve been slow to learn this.  (Maybe not slow — maybe just in love with the false security of doubt as a form of caution).

Confidence, as I understand it, is the act of doing something that stretches the boundaries of what seems safe and secure.   It’s the conscious aim toward one’s vision, goal, or dream, despite warnings and humiliation along the way.  Confidence is the baby who bounces off the corner of a coffee table, yet bruises and all, gets back up to give it another go.  Some might laugh at the baby.  Others might swoop over, pick up the baby and coddle it. (Confidence Destroyers).  But the baby knows the desire to walk, that it is worth the effort and won’t be satisfied with pity or put off by laughter.  The goal is worth the scratches and knots on the forehead.  Confidence is not questioning all the little steps it takes to get there.

And it’s not bragging or moaning about what could or should be.  It’s just doing.  Everyday.  Creating, doing, living and dusting one’s self off and doing it again.

I’ve been told “Be confident” for years now and my non-vocalized response was: “What am I supposed to do? Pretend I’m something I’m not?”

Today’s answer: “Yeah. Pretty much.”

I misunderstood the phrase: “Fake it ’til you make it.”  The correct phrase is , “SHAKE it ’til you make it.”

Shake the rattle.

Shake it until you find the job, the home, the love you’ve searched for.

Shake it until you lose the final 10 pounds.

Shake it until what you shake makes music.

Shake it, write and rewrite until you finally have a good story to tell.

Shake it and trust that the borders of safety and security are always present, always there.  The failure comes when the sounds of fear and doubt become louder than the sound of your rattle.  So shake it harder.


About Fringe Details

I write spec screenplays. Mum of five awesome people and caretaker of 6 chickens, five cats and one smelly dog. View all posts by Fringe Details

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