Now that I made the decision, I’m not angry anymore.  It’s funny.  All the anger just went away.

I am sad now.

Sad it has to be this way.  Sad it couldn’t have worked out differently.  Sad I never thought we’d go this far.   Sad we seemed like a such a good pair.  I’m sad that I know I am doing the right thing.  I’m sad that I’m hurting someone I loved for a very long time.  I’m sad that I feel guilt and a bit of shame for trying to save myself.  I found out after seven plus years, I still have a touch of survival instinct.

And I feel bad about it.  I reached a limit and even now I cannot define that limit.

It’s going to take a lot of wine and a lot of writing to get through this.  I have to make something of this pain.  Otherwise, I’m going to experience a whole new level of crazy.






About Fringe Details

I write spec screenplays. Mum of five awesome people and caretaker of 6 chickens, five cats and one smelly dog. View all posts by Fringe Details

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