Category Archives: Divorce

Aftermath

Now that I made the decision, I’m not angry anymore.  It’s funny.  All the anger just went away.

I am sad now.

Sad it has to be this way.  Sad it couldn’t have worked out differently.  Sad I never thought we’d go this far.   Sad we seemed like a such a good pair.  I’m sad that I know I am doing the right thing.  I’m sad that I’m hurting someone I loved for a very long time.  I’m sad that I feel guilt and a bit of shame for trying to save myself.  I found out after seven plus years, I still have a touch of survival instinct.

And I feel bad about it.  I reached a limit and even now I cannot define that limit.

It’s going to take a lot of wine and a lot of writing to get through this.  I have to make something of this pain.  Otherwise, I’m going to experience a whole new level of crazy.

 

 

 

 


Imagined Conversation #1

 

Future Ex:  There’s someone else, isn’t there?

Me: What are you talking about?

Future Ex:  Who is it?  There must be someone you’re leaving me for.

Me:  Well… (Funny comics by Natalie Dee)

Future Ex:  I knew it!  I knew it! 

Shrugs her shoulders, looks the other way. Wonders when she can go get a cup of coffee.

Future Ex:  I can see it in your face!  You’re in love with someone else!

Me: Yeah. You’re right.  Feel better?

Future Ex:  Who is it?  Tell me who it is!

Me:  You really want to know?

Future Ex: Yes, dammit!  Who is this guy?  I want to see him!  I’ll lay him flat!

Me: Great…

Future Ex:  Tell me who it is! Who is it you’re in love with?

Me:  Me.

He blinks, comprehending.

Future Ex: What?

Me:  The other person is me.  I love myself more than you.

He blinks, flustered, angry, hurt.

She digs in her jeans pocket for a couple of bucks — really  needs some coffee.

Me:  I gotta go.